
It started with a book. I’ve mostly been listening to audiobooks; in the car, before sleep, sometimes during the day. For the past year or maybe it’s been two years…I’ve had trouble sinking into physical books for long periods of time, but over the past few months, I’ve re-connected with these old friends. It started with one book found in an independent bookstore, then the next was found by accident on my way out of a thrift shop. The thick book, with its light blue cover, and castle world floating along–it drew me in and hasn’t let go. I tend to like all sorts of books from different genres, but lately, I’m finding myself drawn more toward fantasy and science fiction with a bent toward fantasy. But I never know, until I’ve read the first few sentences, if the book and I will be suited for each other. It’s been awhile since I’ve found a book that I couldn’t tear myself from, where time didn’t exist, until the world that I entered was interrupted by the outside. Time stops. I come up for air. The escape, the mind travel is stimulating, is needed–a much needed sustenance; but why did I stop, or rather pause? I have felt more quiet inside lately, as though there is a change upon…I feel content, but at the same time, there seems to be a sort of compartmentalization. I’m motivated, yet not motivated. There are certain things I should be doing, but I don’t. I remain optimistic, yet there is something else.
I try to keep the drawers of my inner-self organized, even if the dust collects, as I watch it collecting, knowing that I must keep putting one foot in front of the other.
**
Dear Crow, I hear you
You wake me, cause me to look up
breathe in, feel grateful for the
gulp of fresh air, blue skies,
sunflowers