It often boggles my mind, especially when I’m in the midst of it, of how much stuff a human being accumulates. I cross this road again and again, as I try to stay ahead of the stuff, to get into a practice of continual “spring cleaning” mode, but here I am, faced with it straight on.

We are downsizing, and are in money saving mode, and rents continue to rise at an astonishing pace. Thus, we are moving in with the in-laws. We contemplated buying a small storage unit for the overflow; right now though, it makes more sense to let go, to fit everything that we truly need into one room with a few things that can go into the garage.

The sad thing is that most of the stuff is mine. How has hubby managed to not accumulate so much, while all I see is piles that belong to me. I’ve taken things off the shelves, out of cubby boxes, discovering items I haven’t used in the time we’ve been here. 

A copy of a book from the library finally became available (I was on the hold list). The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. As I browsed through the pages, I hung on her advice to discard first, then get to the organizing. This will have better results and I’m less likely to fall back on clutter mode. It makes so much sense. And do it swiftly. That’s the problem; I leave the piles, taking my sweet time. But there is true motivation and urgency. We’ve given notice, so we have a timeline. I have to make this a reality.

When I was sorting through my journals, I let go of a few and I had to keep some. I know there are pages that I need to come back to and bring back to life. Others though, as I peeked in the pages had too much of the past and needed to be discarded. Sometimes, it’s necessary to move forward and also necessary to look back; it’s a fine balancing act. If certain things have had their time, their moment, and they no longer serve in the present, time to let them fly away into the wind.

Last week when I was packing up some books and other knick-knacks, the Death card fell out of the Tarot deck. How fitting it was: Transformation, change, letting go. So many little nudges telling me not to keep carting all of this stuff around, both physically and metaphorically.

The funny thing about all the things that I have is that I wouldn’t miss 75% of it if only I didn’t look. If  I could wave a magic wand willing it to disappear, I wouldn’t look back. I wouldn’t know what I missed. The moment I look at it, though, something happens; I think of all the reasons I need this or that; or many of the items are so small, that just looking at them together, it’s overwhelming. It’s like an episode of Hoarders.

I have made good progress and need to speed things along. I’ve gotten rid of things, treasures that will now become other people’s treasures or possibly their clutter. It’s such a cycle, isn’t it?

I feel better coming to the page, as I usually do. I’ve missed the page and have imagined, dreamt of the page, my journal blog.

Here’s to new beginnings and clutter cleaning, both inside and out.