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Today the body feels like it’s bein pulled down. Energy is low. I breathe in and out deeply–soaking in the bright spots of flowers and blue sky, reaching for the wind to pull me up, to soar high above the tree tops with the chirpers and blackbirds. 

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I actually didn’t think we would have any view of the strip when we checked in. We were pleased with the view that we did have. It was relaxing to look out the window at Paris, Las Vegas, to see the dancing fountains of the Bellagio that are especially impressive at night from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

It was a great get-a-way. On our last day, walking back to our hotel through busy streets of people–some that had noticeably exceeded their alcohol limits–I felt ready to leave this bustling city.

Yet here I am, missing it already, planning our next trip in my mind.

**

Blinking lights and bustling streets,
this part of the city never sleeps. As the days run into weekend,
activity and people multiply before my eyes. Romantic lights
of the Bellagio tantalize. Lights and sound from every direction
rest upon my senses, pulling me in different directions. Nature far off in the background, still in sight, offering a reminder–a sense of grounding and perspective.

 

Earth Laughs in Flowers.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson

I came across this quote on my daily calendar of inspiration, and it really made sense to me. Right now it seems there is so much tragedy going on all around. I mean, in a way, this is always the case, but it feels as though it’s been especially heavy.

Questions, confusion, disbelief, swirl around in my mind. How can we, as human beings, these evolved creatures, not find a better way…why? is at the forefront of my mind.

I continue to maintain a sense of positivity, and I try to imagine that one day, humans may find a way to co-exist without harming themselves and others.

earth smiles upon us
in a rainbow of colors–
encouragement to keep looking up

Saturday was a good day. Each day actually hasn’t something good to appreciate, but Saturday was great because I got out of the house early before anybody was awake, even the stores weren’t quite ready for me. I started with a hot cocoa from Starbucks, then ventured over to the .99 cents store that was open. I went down each isle in search for something that I might need, being careful not to buy just because it was a bargain. I found a blank notebook. I don’t know that I really needed it; I saw it as a new beginning, a fresh start. I also bought one pack of miniature Hersey bars. I couldn’t resist.

I wanted to go to the gym. My excuse for not going was that I forgot my fanny pack, which is essential for taking only what I need. I didn’t want to go back home just for that. Instead I parked the car near the bookstore, walked over to the Walgreens, which was a couple of blocks away–a little bit of exercise, albeit not as much as if I went to the gym.

Finally, I ended the morning searching through the stacks of bargain books outside the bookstore. I haven’t actually done this for a while and it felt really good, taking my time, being by myself, not rushed and just enjoying some “me time.” I did find a handful of books and have started two, one is a collection of essays celebrating Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. I need to read her much loved book. I have vague memories from my school days, but don’t feel that I’ve actually read it, so it’s on my TBR list, and I may get to it sooner than planned. I also picked up The Borrower, which has really piqued my interest. It’s quirky so far and I like quirky. Also, a Paul Auster book: Timbuktu.

When I exited the bookstore, the day settled in on my spirit. The blue skies had a softeness to them, the three little birds that I saw playing underneath a car, swept past me and I could hear the flutter of their wings. I think that was the second highlight of my morning. It practically gave me goose bumps.

I took my bag of books and my happy state of mind back home with me, ready to fold into the rest of the day.

The power is out at work, which brought me to the library on a block where, luckily, there still is power. You realize how dependent you are on the juice that makes technology possible. I can’t go in the file room to file the stack of papers I have because there’s no light. The phones are out because they’re digital. No computers. No coffee, refrigerator, microwave. None of us brought our own laptops because we didn’t plan for the outage.

I actually came to the library to work on my school work, which was fine with my boss.

The computers here are very slow. As I type this, the words intermittently lag behind my tapping fingers. It’s more of a challenge to work on school work because of the transmission delays.

Today when I wrote in my daily calendar that I’ve been wanting to visit and post on my journal blog and that I’ve come close, but not yet, perhaps I planted an additional seed that somehow brought me to the page. It’s funny how things work out sometimes.

The other morning, as I was just about to get out of bed, I heard a “meow” then another. The window was slightly open, so I could hear this mystery kitty. We’ve been hearing loud running on the rooftop at night. We joked that it sounds like a tiger. I got out of bed and peeked through the blinds. Kitty was sitting atop of one of the wooden bench seats. He didn’t see me. I stared at him taking in his black, shiny coat. I clicked my tongue to get his attention; he turned his head, startled. We looked at each other for a moment, I said hello. He responded with a dash, and quickly darted off.

A sound that made me smile extra wide this week was a woodpecker pecking. I rarely hear them anymore and for some reason that sound takes me somewhere evoking a childhood giddiness inside my soul.

Sunday we plan to take the last of our things which will no longer make this home our home. There will be new sounds; lots more birds; yapping doggies, which I’ll be joyed to cuddle with.

When I passed these flowers on one of my walks during lunch hour, I almost went by without taking a photo. I couldn’t help myself; they were too beautiful and happy for me not to take them in for a bit longer.

**

Black cat meows as if in conversation with himself;
happy flowers stand at attention in flower pots,
waiting to be noticed by passerby;
woodpeckers keep on pecking even when you don’t hear them–
each day–
something the same and something surprising.

Friday night hubby and I took an outing to the grocery store. We realized that we had a few things that we needed, and we had just had a dinner that weighed me down, so I suggested we treat our outing as a walk–a walk through the store, since we’ve both been very unmotivated when it comes to exercise, even walking. And we were in for a cozy evening; may as well get a little activity into the mix.

Upon exciting the store, my treat for our practical excursion was the beauty of the moon as it was just about to the brim of fullness. The tree branches held her face, the clouds and leaves a lacy veil, as the moon peered through the layers. She was magnificent. I held the iPhone steady, trying to capture her beauty, until I did.


Spring teases;
birds sing in the mornings as if in celebration of what is to come,
Sun shines bright;
night skies–clear and crisp.
Stars sparkle against a pristine black canvas.
A flutter of butterflies circle in my core–
Spring is near.

**

Photo taking during one of my walks.

  
Trying to view the glass with all its possibilities and all that there is to be grateful for, yet there is a smal bug that needles, draining energy. A path lies strewn with debris, question marks, worries, doubt. A tattoo on the inside wrist of the bank teller said, “this too shall pass.” I’ve taken a book down, one that I haven’t visited in a very long time, one that I didn’t finish, but find myself drawn to because I’m trying to declutter: Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston. 

A sunset, birds twittering, the cold air, gardeners planting flowers along the street flower pots, a smiling child…these things make me stop and breathe. Seeing a person without a home, sitting in the cold make me both sad and appreciative for what I have. The news on the television is hard to watch, so many unbelievable, negative acts. 

As I continue clearing out the clutter, I hope that my energy level increases and that I am releasing what needs to go, making room for-

For whatever the Univerese has in store. 

I feel like I’ve taken a long hibernation for which I cannot seem to wake up from. Migraines are a nuisance and when I have good days, I often find I want to sleep. I think it’s the things I’ve amassed. It’s time to let go of what has not been used, time to focus on the few important things. 

In light of my moods, I’m still managing to laugh and stay positive. Classes went well. They are over for now. 

I emptied a large hall closet before work one morning, just to force myself to address it that evening. It covered the whole bed. How did all this stuff fit in there? And do I need it all? Four digital cameras! Really, I must let go. A cute coconut purse, a novelty I couldn’t resist, but have never used. The TV show Hoarders plays in the background; my mother was a hoarder. I have the tendencies in my bones, but it’s nothing like my mom or the folks on those shoes. After watching one episode with a mother and son, I could no longer watch. It was too painful to see the sickness, the deterioration. They had a happy ending. It was exhausting to watch. 

I unloaded another three boxes of books. They’ll find new people to make happy. I will let others go. Little by little. Sometimes it’s hard, but very necessary. Certain books I take photos of so I won’t forget, so I can look them up again if I ever want to get in touch. I can rely on library books, which I love doing anyway. 

“It’s all good.”

I release myself to the Universe. 


I don’t usually go out of the house in the early morning, but I think if I were to make a habit of it, my soul would appreciate it very much. We were out of milk on Saturday morning and I like having milk with my tea. I knew when I went to sleep the night before, that I would have to get out early, so that I would have some sustenance before my second online mid-term.

The morning greeted me with a cold bite to my nose and finger tips. I pulled out my iPhone to check the weather. It was 39 degrees, which for me, is cold. but the coldness woke me up in the most wonderful way, and as I kept my eyes on all the natural beauties around me, I felt such joy. The light was just right. It was still early enough that the earth was still. I could hear silence with just a faint hint that there were others starting their mornings early.

If not for being out of milk, I wouldn’t have caught this beautiful moment of Mt. Diablo draped in the morning light.